GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
