My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
