he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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