Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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