hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
