I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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