And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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