my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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