He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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