"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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