Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
