So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
last night I used snow as a chaser
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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