There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
