Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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