do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
