Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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