were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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