Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
