wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
