(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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