I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
