i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
