What a fucking waste of an outfit
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
