whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
