I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize