I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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