I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
