so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
