I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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