can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
