No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
