i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
