OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize