He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nicole vs. Life
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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