Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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