"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
