A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
