were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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