Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
