He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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