I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
