I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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