you mean i was at the winter classic?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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