I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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