As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
