I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
