i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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