He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
