Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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