checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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