The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
