Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
