If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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