highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
