pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Quick, to the slutcave!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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