Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize