How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize