Having a random hookup so left but love u
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
