I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
