It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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