Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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